So today was an absolutely AWFUL day for me. SO much for me having a crack at peace for my favorite Holiday, eh?
My classes for AIT sucked so bad, I was ready to just give up on the Army all together. It's really hard what I'm doing here. The flow of info we're given and expected to learn has been likened to a fire-hose of intense, concentrated water. It's ludicrous that we even have FIVE MONTHS to learn all this! I honestly feel like I'm gonna fail big time and be stuck here for another five months... I literally almost cried today in front of an instruction Sergeant and two peers.
The only redeeming quality of my day was the Wiccan/Pagan Circle I went to later today. If any of you didn't know, I find some solace in my mixed Christian/Pagan/Buddhist/Animistic beliefs. The Circle this night was pure amazingness and redeemed my day for me. It was a meditation:
"We were sent to a Weeping Willow centered in an old graveyard in our meditation to meet one of our Ancestors. The path to this graveyard was lit by fireflies. The lonely howl of a wolf rang out not too far from the path I took. When I arrived at the wrought iron gates of the graveyard, I was met by a black cat. The cat lead me to the Willow, where a swarm of bats encircled and flew away. Instinctively, I knew this was the place for me to meditate and wait for an Ancestor. After a while, I saw a shape similar to a shadow while meditating at the base of the Weeping Willow. The shadow-being did not approach, but rather swayed peacefully with the autumn breeze. Gazing at me perhaps? I couldn't shake the thoughts of my Maternal Grandfather's father; My great grandfather. He had died when I was very young, but I was told he was very wise and had quite a sense of humor. I wish he were still here... I have so many questions. After the meditation was completed, I felt dissatisfied because I wasn't contacted... Or so I thought. Out behind our circle by a few feet was a shape that appeared to be a cat, but was actually a great horned owl! He sat on the ground and watched us, watched me. I almost shed tears as the circle was finishing because I knew that the owl was something special. Maybe even an embodiment of someone? My Great Grandfather?"
It was a beautiful experience. I need more like that in my life. It gives me hope, inspires me.
So.... Less of me and more of you all! How was your guys' Halloween? Has it been good? /:3